Our Council of
Knights recently organized a Divine Mercy prayer
program in honor of Pope John Paul II’s 25th
anniversary as Pontiff. It was a pleasure for me
to attend and celebrate what I consider to be the
two greatest gifts our Church has received from
Poland: a strong and faithful Vicar of Christ and
the message of Divine Mercy, which has touched my
own heart in a very special and profound way.
I first became aware of the image and story of
Divine Mercy about eight years ago, when I read
the diary of a simple Polish nun, the recently
canonized Faustina Kowalska. This woman was
blessed to receive many supernatural gifts from
God, above all, the responsibility to transcribe
messages directly from Jesus Himself. In St.
Faustina’s writings, Jesus pleads for the return
of sinners and implores our trust in His
unfathomable mercy. His lamentations are so
beautiful and persuasive that when I read them my
heart was moved and I began to pray the Divine
Mercy chaplet on my Rosary.
Not long after, I had the good fortune to discover
a video that detailed the life of St. Faustina. I
felt it would be a wonderful blessing to share
with our scripture group, and a great opportunity
to teach our friends how to pray the chaplet. To
prepare for the event, I decided to pray the
Divine Mercy novena and make a confession on
Divine Mercy Sunday (the Sunday after Easter) for
a complete pardon of sins as promised in the words
of Jesus.
Just when everything was falling into place so
perfectly, the unthinkable happened, and I
committed the most regrettable sin of my life. In
a moment of weakness largely attributed to many
sleepless nights with a newborn, I raged against
my four-year-old. For a few fleeting seconds, I
wanted to hurt him -- and I did. Horrified, my
world turned upside-down. I was shocked and
devastated at my unbridled outburst, and filled
with deep shame and regret. How could this have
happened, I dismayed, now, during the holiest time
of year?
Even the forgiveness of my husband and son could
not console me. I wondered how I could ever face
God after what I had done, but I knew it was
imperative. So, with heavy heart, I went to
Confession. I cried as I have never cried before
in Reconciliation, as I related to the priest what
had happened. Although he was sympathetic and
understanding, the absolution still felt hollow
and empty. My heart was broken and it seemed no
penance could ever be enough to take away my pain.
As I was leaving the confessional, however, an
amazing thing happened. The moment I opened the
door, I felt a sudden and very tangible sensation
as if someone were pouring a bucket of water over
top of me. I felt washed clean, tingling all the
way down to my toes and at the same moment
feather-light, like the weight of the world had
just been lifted off my shoulders. I had never
experienced anything like this before.
Instantly, I recognized that I had just received a
miracle from God -- I was experiencing firsthand
His Divine Mercy. This was not mere words on a
page, but living and true mercy, and it was
amazing and powerfully healing. God saw how
broken, humbled and genuinely contrite I was, and
He was welcoming me back with open arms — me, a
poor sinner, who could not forgive myself.
The words of Jesus, as given to St. Faustina, held
new meaning for me: "Know, my daughter, that My
Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy
graces pour out upon the whole world. No souls
that come to Me depart without being comforted.
All misery vanishes in My Mercy…"
This incredible experience has taught me some very
important lessons. First, I am acutely aware now
of how frail I am — how frail we all are — and
how quickly salvation can be jeopardized. Second,
I also understand in a new and meaningful way that
God’s forgiveness, regardless of the sins we
commit, is ours simply for the asking. Third, God
has revealed to me how light can come from
darkness. Sharing my story with others has helped
many return to Confession and experience Divine
Mercy for themselves.
Although it has been eight years since my
"confession miracle", the memory of it is as fresh
in my mind – and my body — as if it happened
yesterday. I know today that every time I make the
Sacrament of Reconciliation, I am granted that
same unconditional and Divine Mercy, even if I
only experience it with the eyes of faith.
The message of Divine Mercy is and always will be
a special part of our family. The image of Our
Lord with those red and white rays streaming from
His heart is displayed in our home and it is why
the last words on our children's lips during their
nightly prayers are, "Jesus, I trust in you."
Published in Columbia, April 2004
Elizabeth Ficocelli
is a Catholic author who writes for children and
adults.
For more information, visit
www.elizabethficocelli.com
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